Tidy Chaos

I am a bit of a neat freak of sorts, which is probably why I’m good at organizing, but also it can get me in trouble. When I walk through my house and see piles of unfinished crafts, clothes and shoes strewn about, and tiny pieces of paper that have been cut up “just cause” and then left all over the floor… my heart starts beating remarkably fast and I feel my face getting warm. Some people look at these types of piles and say “oh it’s just kids being kids, let them live a little!” I see the piles and I start to wonder if I’m going to make it through the day and also who are these children, like seriously where did they come from?!

For better or worse not everyone in my family appreciates the same level of order that I do. And I wonder where did I go wrong? Cause goodness knows I worked hard to teach them to understand and value order! So what did I end up with for all my efforts? Well, a son who for funsies decides to wash his sheets and clean his room at 10 pm, and a daughter who thinks that living the high life is being surrounded by piles of laundry, bowls of unrecognizable food substance, and a variety assortment of crumbs. You win some, you lose some.

So while I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my journey of learning the art of order and beauty, I’ve also had to learn when to let go. If I had it my way our home would be virtually immaculate at all times, but there would be a price to pay. For my children it would cost them the beauty of learning and growing, cutting and creating, exploring and discovering. For my husband, it would cost all his free time! So I’m on a journey of discovering the balance of order and freedom of expression, of learning when the mess is ok and when it’s not. It’s not easy and I haven’t arrived, but I have made progress.

It’s good to have order in your life. It’s good to teach your children from a young age the value of order. It’s good to be able to find the things you own, the things you spent money on, the things you value, the things you need for your daily life. It’s good to enjoy the peace and joy that comes from being surrounded by order and beauty. These are all good things. But it’s also good to know when to let go, when to let yourself or your family make some mess in order to create, explore or rest. It’s a balance that’s hard to find, but it’s a journey worth going on. I don’t have all the answers to what that balance looks like. I’m still learning. But one thing I have learned is that mess with a purpose is ok for a time so long as order is restored within a reasonable amount of time. I hope that we can all learn how to hold that balance in our hands, and experience the freedom and joy that follows.

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